From emails exchanged last year between David Armstrong, a former English Teacher, and employees of The Coca-Cola Company.
To The Coca Cola Company,
The slogan for Dasani mineral water contains and egregious error. The tag line is "Treat yourself well. Everyday." The word everyday is an adjective that is used to describe things that are routine or ordinary. "Everyday concerns" or "everyday life" would be two examples.
Your slogan should read "Treat yourself well. Every day." In this case every is a adjective modifying the noun day. This is a popular construction which is also used in such phrases as "every week", "every time", "every breath you take", etc.
I would also argue that the phrase every day by itself is somewhat unsubstantial as a full sentence. I will defer, however, to your superior knowledge of the language of mass communication. I do believe, though, that it would behoove the Dasani division of The Coca-Cola Company to make an attempt to appeal to the grammatically sophistocated beverage consumer by modifying your advertising to correct the aforementioned error.
Respectfully submitted,
David Armstrong.
Thank you for contacting the The Coca-Cola Company, Mr. Armstrong. We appreciate the opportunity to address your concerns regarding our new slogan for DASANI, "Treat yourself well. Everyday."
Advertising slogans aren't always constrained by the traditional conventions of formal writing; compromises are quite often made to develop a more effective message. When forming the new slogan for DASANI, we considered both Everyday and Every day. After subjecting both versions to testing, we decided to use the more impactful adjective form, rather than the adjective-noun phrase. Since Everyday is not an actual sentence and isn't part of a complete paragraph, we do not feel it is necessarily confined by the same literary bounds as formal writing.
We value feedback from our consumers. Your comments has been shared with the appropriate management here at the corporate headquarters and will certianly be taken into consideration as we move forward with our future plans.
Joy
Industry and Consumer Affairs
The Coca-Cola Company
Dear Joy,
Thank you for your prompt and informative response to my email message. I do appreciate your taking the time. I must confess, however, that I am not completely satisfied with your answer. I fail to see how the adjective everyday, which has a completely different meaning than the phrase every day is more "impactful." (By the way, impactful is not listed as a word in any dictionary that I am aware of. Was this neologism spawned by person who hatched your Dasani slogan?) You say you chose the "adjective form" as if you were choosing between two versions of the same thing - but the similarity is purely superificial.
Your slogan may as well read "Treat yourself well. Ordinary" or "Treat yourself well. Commonplace," because that is what it means, given the error. You say that you have subjected both versions to testing. I assume that means that you conducted focus groups, and that none of the invitees caught the error, or that the few who did were drowned out by the majority that found the totally irrelevant adjective everyday to be "impactful." Are we then to assume that poor grammar and abuse of the English language make for more effective marketing? If this is the case I have a couple of suggestions for future slogans you may wish to consider:
"Coke. Its the real thing."
"All ways Coca-Cola"
"Coke add's life."
Would you use such slogans? I wouldn't think so, and you defend your error on the grounds that "Advertising slogans aren't always constrained byt tradtional conventions of formal writing." Surely, there must be limits to this unpoetic license.
In closing, I am surprised that a firm such as The Coca-Cola Company does not want to extend its high-quality standards to include the language used to promote its products, and I anxiously await a decision from your superiors regarding my request.
Best regards,
David Armstrong
Thank you for your reply. We truly appreciate your feedback regarding our slogan for DASANI, and I will share it with the appropriate management. As for the word impactful this is simply the noun form of impact with the suffix -ful added to the end in order for it to be used as an adjective. Words with suffixes are typically not in the dictionary.
Rich Robinson
Advertising Specialist
The Coca-Cola Company
Dear Rich,
It as been a few days since our email exchange and I have yet to hear form your executives. You had promised to share my concerns with them, and I would have thought that the issues I raise were sufficiently urgent to warrant immediate attention on the part of your superiors. I would appreciate an update on the status of my request.
Your fine and reputable firm needs to act swiftly to repair this grievous attack on the English language, one which I have now seen plastered on the sides of buses, on billboards, and in numerous other public locations. Have you considered the effect of your nonsensical "Treat yourself well. Everyday" campaign on the nation's schoolchildren? How do you expect them to fare in their English courses when subjected to a barage of advertising with no respect for the rules of the language? And what of those who are learning English as a second language? Should they be told that standards apply only in the classroom and not to Corporate America?
In these days of increased scrutiny of corporate behavior, you would do well to ensure that your "messaging" has a positive impact on society. I submit that you are conducting a campaign that is offensive to those of us who care about the language and harmful to those who are attempting to master it.
In closing, although I appreciate the creativity of your comment "Words with suffixes are typically not in the dictionary," I believe that if you research this further you will find that many words with suffixes are in fact in the dictionary, and that words that are words are not.
Warmest regards,
David Armstrong
Friday, June 27, 2003
Dear Friend,
Please do something after reading this email. Do what you can, but please do something.
A few days ago Howard Dean did something we haven't seen in our country in decades.
He called on all of the American people to participate again in our common future.
Governor Dean spoke out loud and clear against the crisis of community our current President has created at home, and against the Bush administration's abandonment of the heritage of America as the Idealistic Moral force in the world.
And then he said this:
"The history of our nation is clear: At every turn where there has been an imbalance of power, the truth questioned, or our beliefs and values distorted, the change required to restore our nation has always come from the bottom up from our people.
You have the power to reclaim our nation's destiny."
Each of us acting alone -- which is what the Bush people think America should be -- leaves us powerless to change Washington or the direction of our nation.
But if Americans -- all of us -- do something, and do it together, we really do have the power to change forever the way politics is conducted in our country and make a profound impact on our nation's future.
Over 121,231 of us have signed up to support Howard Dean's campaign totake back our country.
Think about that, 121,231 Americans.
If each of us contributed $100 today it would mean over $12 million dollars in contributions to Howard Dean's campaign in one day and we would not only shock the press and pundits we would take a giant leap towards taking back our country.
And so I am asking you to join me today in giving what you can -- $100 if you can, but do something, contribute whatever you can afford to contribute but please contribute today.
http://www.deanforamerica.com/moveonfordean
Please do not delete this email before taking a common action with the other 121,230 of us who are committed with you to returning government to the people and helping Howard Dean become our next President.
Martin Luther King Jr. said "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
What is happening to our country today matters-- Howard Dean is not silent, on the contrary. In one day we can provide the resources needed to make sure his voice and ours is heard loud and clear -- "we want our country back."
Please forward this email on to someone else, to help me spread this message.
I am a supporter of Howard Dean and all that I ask is that today we all do something together to move his candidacy and the cause of America forward.
Thank you,
Martin Sheen
http://www.deanforamerica.com/moveonfordean
Please do something after reading this email. Do what you can, but please do something.
A few days ago Howard Dean did something we haven't seen in our country in decades.
He called on all of the American people to participate again in our common future.
Governor Dean spoke out loud and clear against the crisis of community our current President has created at home, and against the Bush administration's abandonment of the heritage of America as the Idealistic Moral force in the world.
And then he said this:
"The history of our nation is clear: At every turn where there has been an imbalance of power, the truth questioned, or our beliefs and values distorted, the change required to restore our nation has always come from the bottom up from our people.
You have the power to reclaim our nation's destiny."
Each of us acting alone -- which is what the Bush people think America should be -- leaves us powerless to change Washington or the direction of our nation.
But if Americans -- all of us -- do something, and do it together, we really do have the power to change forever the way politics is conducted in our country and make a profound impact on our nation's future.
Over 121,231 of us have signed up to support Howard Dean's campaign totake back our country.
Think about that, 121,231 Americans.
If each of us contributed $100 today it would mean over $12 million dollars in contributions to Howard Dean's campaign in one day and we would not only shock the press and pundits we would take a giant leap towards taking back our country.
And so I am asking you to join me today in giving what you can -- $100 if you can, but do something, contribute whatever you can afford to contribute but please contribute today.
http://www.deanforamerica.com/moveonfordean
Please do not delete this email before taking a common action with the other 121,230 of us who are committed with you to returning government to the people and helping Howard Dean become our next President.
Martin Luther King Jr. said "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
What is happening to our country today matters-- Howard Dean is not silent, on the contrary. In one day we can provide the resources needed to make sure his voice and ours is heard loud and clear -- "we want our country back."
Please forward this email on to someone else, to help me spread this message.
I am a supporter of Howard Dean and all that I ask is that today we all do something together to move his candidacy and the cause of America forward.
Thank you,
Martin Sheen
http://www.deanforamerica.com/moveonfordean
Wednesday, May 21, 2003
Dubya Quotes
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
..George W. Bush
"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
..Governor George W. Bush
"Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
..Governor George W. Bush
"Mars is essentially in the same orbit...Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
..Governor George W. Bush, 8/11/94
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
..Governor George W. Bush, 9/15/95
"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy -- but that could change."
..Governor George W. Bush, 5/22/98
"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."
..Governor George W. Bush, 12/6/93
"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."
..Governor George W. Bush, 11/30/96
"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."
..Governor George W. Bush
"The future will be better tomorrow."
..Governor George W. Bush
"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world."
..Governor George W. Bush 9/21/97
"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."
..Governor George W. Bush
"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
..Governor George W. Bush to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/93
"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."
..Governor George W. Bush
"Public speaking is very easy."
..Governor George W. Bush to reporters
"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican."
..Governor George W. Bush
"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
..Governor George W. Bush
"When I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in LA, my answer has been direct & simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame."
..George W. Bush
"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it."
..Governor George W. Bush 5/20/96
"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
..Governor George W. Bush 9/22/97
"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
..Governor George W. Bush, 9/5/93
"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
..Governor George W. Bush , 9/18/95
"The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that George Bush may or may not make."
..Governor George W. Bush
"We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made."
..Governor George W. Bush
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
..Governor George W. Bush
"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system."
..Governor George W. Bush
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
..George W. Bush
"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
..Governor George W. Bush
"Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
..Governor George W. Bush
"Mars is essentially in the same orbit...Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
..Governor George W. Bush, 8/11/94
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
..Governor George W. Bush, 9/15/95
"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy -- but that could change."
..Governor George W. Bush, 5/22/98
"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."
..Governor George W. Bush, 12/6/93
"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."
..Governor George W. Bush, 11/30/96
"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."
..Governor George W. Bush
"The future will be better tomorrow."
..Governor George W. Bush
"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world."
..Governor George W. Bush 9/21/97
"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."
..Governor George W. Bush
"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
..Governor George W. Bush to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/93
"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."
..Governor George W. Bush
"Public speaking is very easy."
..Governor George W. Bush to reporters
"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican."
..Governor George W. Bush
"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
..Governor George W. Bush
"When I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in LA, my answer has been direct & simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame."
..George W. Bush
"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it."
..Governor George W. Bush 5/20/96
"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
..Governor George W. Bush 9/22/97
"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
..Governor George W. Bush, 9/5/93
"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
..Governor George W. Bush , 9/18/95
"The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that George Bush may or may not make."
..Governor George W. Bush
"We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made."
..Governor George W. Bush
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
..Governor George W. Bush
"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system."
..Governor George W. Bush
Friday, April 04, 2003
Top Ten Things you don't want to hear on Trading Space's
10. Cover everything in tin foil.
9. I'm thinking sad clown motif.
8. Let's replace the sofa with bales of hay.
7. Two words: Giant Sandbox!
6. Do we really need that support beam ?
5. Bring on the bulldozer!
4. The theme of the room will be... Medieval Dungeon.
3. Fuchsia! Fuchsia! Fuchsia!
2. All we need is some chicken wire and some duct tape.
And the number one thing you don't want to hear on Trading Spaces is...
Break everything in the room and create a floor mosaic!
10. Cover everything in tin foil.
9. I'm thinking sad clown motif.
8. Let's replace the sofa with bales of hay.
7. Two words: Giant Sandbox!
6. Do we really need that support beam ?
5. Bring on the bulldozer!
4. The theme of the room will be... Medieval Dungeon.
3. Fuchsia! Fuchsia! Fuchsia!
2. All we need is some chicken wire and some duct tape.
And the number one thing you don't want to hear on Trading Spaces is...
Break everything in the room and create a floor mosaic!
Thursday, March 20, 2003
A CITIZEN'S DECLARATION
As a US-led invasion of Iraq begins, we, the undersigned citizens of many countries, reaffirm our commitment to addressing international conflicts through the rule of law and the United Nations.
By joining together across countries and continents, we have emerged as a new force for peace. As we grieve for the victims of this war, we pledge to redouble our efforts to put an end to the Bush Administration's doctrine of pre-emptive attack and the reckless use of military power.
-- justin austin
United States
to add your name to this petition click here >> A CITIZENS' DECLARATION
As a US-led invasion of Iraq begins, we, the undersigned citizens of many countries, reaffirm our commitment to addressing international conflicts through the rule of law and the United Nations.
By joining together across countries and continents, we have emerged as a new force for peace. As we grieve for the victims of this war, we pledge to redouble our efforts to put an end to the Bush Administration's doctrine of pre-emptive attack and the reckless use of military power.
-- justin austin
United States
to add your name to this petition click here >> A CITIZENS' DECLARATION
Tuesday, March 18, 2003
stand and show your colors
let's all go to war.....
the Lord will surely help us
i've heard it all before.
i've heard it all
a hundred times
i've heard it all before...
they've always got a holy cause
that's worth a dying for.
someone writes a slogan
raises up a flag
someone finds an enemy blame.
to leave the cities and the farms
and lead the country's call to arms...
and always the ending is the same
the same
the same.
the fields have turned to ashes.
the wheat has turned to straw.
and someone asks the question
"what was the dying for?"
the living can't remember
the dead no longer care
but next time this won't happen
upon my soul i swear.
i've heard it all
a hundred times
don't tell me it's different now
i've heard it all
i've heard it all
i've heard it all BEFORE.
- John Cullum in Shenandoah
let's all go to war.....
the Lord will surely help us
i've heard it all before.
i've heard it all
a hundred times
i've heard it all before...
they've always got a holy cause
that's worth a dying for.
someone writes a slogan
raises up a flag
someone finds an enemy blame.
to leave the cities and the farms
and lead the country's call to arms...
and always the ending is the same
the same
the same.
the fields have turned to ashes.
the wheat has turned to straw.
and someone asks the question
"what was the dying for?"
the living can't remember
the dead no longer care
but next time this won't happen
upon my soul i swear.
i've heard it all
a hundred times
don't tell me it's different now
i've heard it all
i've heard it all
i've heard it all BEFORE.
- John Cullum in Shenandoah
Monday, January 27, 2003
29 have been accused of spousal abuse
7 have been arrested for fraud
19 have been accused of writing bad checks
117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
3 have done time for assault
71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
8 have been arrested for shoplifting
21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year
Can you guess which organization this is?
It's the 535 members of the United States Congress.
The same group of Idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line
7 have been arrested for fraud
19 have been accused of writing bad checks
117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
3 have done time for assault
71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
8 have been arrested for shoplifting
21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year
Can you guess which organization this is?
It's the 535 members of the United States Congress.
The same group of Idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line
Friday, January 24, 2003
This is to be sung to the tune of: "If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands."
"George's Song" (Author unknown)
If we cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the markets hurt your Mama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are Saudi
And the bank takes back your Audi
And the TV shows are bawdy,
Bomb Iraq.
If the corporate scandals growin', bomb Iraq.
And your ties to them are showin', bomb Iraq.
If the smoking gun ain't smokin'
We don't care, and we're not jokin'.
That Saddam will soon be croakin',
Bomb Iraq.
Even if we have no allies, bomb Iraq.
From the sand dunes to the valleys, bomb Iraq.
So to hell with the inspections;
Let's look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions,
Bomb Iraq.
While the globe is slowly warming, bomb Iraq.
Yay! the clouds of war are storming, bomb Iraq.
If the ozone hole is growing,
Some things we prefer not knowing.
(Though our ignorance is showing),
Bomb Iraq.
So here's one for dear old daddy, bomb Iraq,
From his favorite little laddy, bomb Iraq.
Saying no would look like treason.
It's the Hussein hunting season.
Even if we have no reason,
Bomb Iraq.
"George's Song" (Author unknown)
If we cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the markets hurt your Mama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are Saudi
And the bank takes back your Audi
And the TV shows are bawdy,
Bomb Iraq.
If the corporate scandals growin', bomb Iraq.
And your ties to them are showin', bomb Iraq.
If the smoking gun ain't smokin'
We don't care, and we're not jokin'.
That Saddam will soon be croakin',
Bomb Iraq.
Even if we have no allies, bomb Iraq.
From the sand dunes to the valleys, bomb Iraq.
So to hell with the inspections;
Let's look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions,
Bomb Iraq.
While the globe is slowly warming, bomb Iraq.
Yay! the clouds of war are storming, bomb Iraq.
If the ozone hole is growing,
Some things we prefer not knowing.
(Though our ignorance is showing),
Bomb Iraq.
So here's one for dear old daddy, bomb Iraq,
From his favorite little laddy, bomb Iraq.
Saying no would look like treason.
It's the Hussein hunting season.
Even if we have no reason,
Bomb Iraq.
Friday, December 27, 2002
Afrikander Een Plesierige Kerfees
Arabic I'd Millad Said oua Sana Saida
Argentine Felices Pasquas Y felices ano Nuevo
Armenian Shenoraavor Nor Dari yev Pari Gaghand
Azeri Tezze Iliniz Yahsi Olsun
Basque Zorionak eta Urte Berri On!
Bohemian Vesele Vanoce
Brazilian Boas Festas e Feliz Ano Novo
Breton Nedeleg laouen na bloavezh mat
Bulgarian Tchestita Koleda; Tchestito Rojdestvo Hristovo
Chinese (Mandarin) Kung His Hsin Nien bing Chu Shen Tan
(Catonese) Gun Tso Sun Tan'Gung Haw Sun
Catalan Bon Nadal i un Bon any nou
Cornish Nadelik looan na looan blethen noweth
Cree Mitho Makosi Kesikansi
Croatian Sretan Bozic
Czech Prejeme Vam Vesele Vanoce a stastny Novy Rok
Danish Gl?delig Jul
Dutch Vrolijk Kerstfeest en een Gelukkig Nieuwjaar!
English Merry Christmas
Esperanto Gajan Kristnaskon
Estonian Ruumsaid juulup|hi
Farsi Cristmas-e-shoma mobarak bashad
Finnish Hyvaa joulua
French Joyeux Noel - Christmas in France & Canada
Frisian Noflike Krystdagen en in protte Lok en Seine yn it Nije
Jier!
German Froehliche Weihnachten
Greek Kala Christouyenna!
Hawaiian Mele Kalikimaka
Hebrew Mo'adim Lesimkha. Chena tova
Hindi Shub Naya Baras
Hungarian Kellemes Karacsonyi unnepeket
Icelandic Gledileg Jol
Indonesian Selamat Hari Natal
Iraqi Idah Saidan Wa Sanah Jadidah
Irish Nollaig Shona Dhuit
Italian (Auguri di) Buon Natale e Felice Anno Nuovo
Japanese Shinnen omedeto. Kurisumasu Omedeto
Korean Sung Tan Chuk Ha
Latvian Priecigus Ziemas Svetkus un Laimigu Jauno Gadu
Lettish Priecigus Ziemassvetkus
Lithuanian Linksmu Kaledu
Manx Nollick ghennal as blein vie noa
Maori Meri Kirihimete
Marathi Shub Naya Varsh
Navajo Merry Keshmish
Norwegian God Jul
PennsylvaniaGerman En frehlicher Grischtdaag un en hallich Nei
Yaahr!
Polish Wesolych Swiat Bozego Narodzenia
Portuguese Boas Festas
Rapa-Nui Mata-Ki-Te-Rangi. Te-Pito-O-Te-Henua
Rumanian Sarbatori vesele
Russian Pozdrevlyayu s prazdnikom Rozhdestva is Novim Godom
Serbian Hristos se rodi
Slovakian Sretan Bozic or Vesele vianoce
Sami Buorrit Juovllat
Samoan La Maunia Le Kilisimasi Ma Le Tausaga Fou
Scots Gaelic Nollaig chridheil huibh
Serb-Croatian Sretam Bozic. Vesela Nova Godina
Singhalese Subha nath thalak Vewa. Subha Aluth Awrudhak Vewa
Slovak Vesele Vianoce. A stastlivy Novy Rok
Slovene Vesel Bozic. Srecno Novo Leto.
Spanish Feliz Navidad
Swedish God Jul and (Och) Ett Gott Nytt Oer
Tagalog Maligayang Pasko at Manigong Bagong Taon
Tamil Nathar Puthu Varuda Valthukkal
Thai Sawadee Pee Mai
Turkish Noeliniz Ve Yeni Yiliniz Kutlu Olsun
Ukrainian Srozhdestvom Kristovym
Urdu Naya Saal Mubarak Ho
Vietnamese Chuc Mung Giang Sinh
Welsh Nadolig Llawen
Yugoslavian Cestitamo Bozic
Arabic I'd Millad Said oua Sana Saida
Argentine Felices Pasquas Y felices ano Nuevo
Armenian Shenoraavor Nor Dari yev Pari Gaghand
Azeri Tezze Iliniz Yahsi Olsun
Basque Zorionak eta Urte Berri On!
Bohemian Vesele Vanoce
Brazilian Boas Festas e Feliz Ano Novo
Breton Nedeleg laouen na bloavezh mat
Bulgarian Tchestita Koleda; Tchestito Rojdestvo Hristovo
Chinese (Mandarin) Kung His Hsin Nien bing Chu Shen Tan
(Catonese) Gun Tso Sun Tan'Gung Haw Sun
Catalan Bon Nadal i un Bon any nou
Cornish Nadelik looan na looan blethen noweth
Cree Mitho Makosi Kesikansi
Croatian Sretan Bozic
Czech Prejeme Vam Vesele Vanoce a stastny Novy Rok
Danish Gl?delig Jul
Dutch Vrolijk Kerstfeest en een Gelukkig Nieuwjaar!
English Merry Christmas
Esperanto Gajan Kristnaskon
Estonian Ruumsaid juulup|hi
Farsi Cristmas-e-shoma mobarak bashad
Finnish Hyvaa joulua
French Joyeux Noel - Christmas in France & Canada
Frisian Noflike Krystdagen en in protte Lok en Seine yn it Nije
Jier!
German Froehliche Weihnachten
Greek Kala Christouyenna!
Hawaiian Mele Kalikimaka
Hebrew Mo'adim Lesimkha. Chena tova
Hindi Shub Naya Baras
Hungarian Kellemes Karacsonyi unnepeket
Icelandic Gledileg Jol
Indonesian Selamat Hari Natal
Iraqi Idah Saidan Wa Sanah Jadidah
Irish Nollaig Shona Dhuit
Italian (Auguri di) Buon Natale e Felice Anno Nuovo
Japanese Shinnen omedeto. Kurisumasu Omedeto
Korean Sung Tan Chuk Ha
Latvian Priecigus Ziemas Svetkus un Laimigu Jauno Gadu
Lettish Priecigus Ziemassvetkus
Lithuanian Linksmu Kaledu
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Yaahr!
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Sunday, December 01, 2002
We take you now to the Oval Office.........
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?
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