29 have been accused of spousal abuse

7 have been arrested for fraud

19 have been accused of writing bad checks

117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

3 have done time for assault

71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

14 have been arrested on drug-related charges

8 have been arrested for shoplifting

21 are currently defendants in lawsuits

84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year

Can you guess which organization this is?

It's the 535 members of the United States Congress.

The same group of Idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line

This is to be sung to the tune of: "If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands."
"George's Song" (Author unknown)

If we cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the markets hurt your Mama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are Saudi
And the bank takes back your Audi
And the TV shows are bawdy,
Bomb Iraq.

If the corporate scandals growin', bomb Iraq.
And your ties to them are showin', bomb Iraq.
If the smoking gun ain't smokin'
We don't care, and we're not jokin'.
That Saddam will soon be croakin',
Bomb Iraq.

Even if we have no allies, bomb Iraq.
From the sand dunes to the valleys, bomb Iraq.
So to hell with the inspections;
Let's look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions,
Bomb Iraq.

While the globe is slowly warming, bomb Iraq.
Yay! the clouds of war are storming, bomb Iraq.
If the ozone hole is growing,
Some things we prefer not knowing.
(Though our ignorance is showing),
Bomb Iraq.

So here's one for dear old daddy, bomb Iraq,
From his favorite little laddy, bomb Iraq.
Saying no would look like treason.
It's the Hussein hunting season.
Even if we have no reason,
Bomb Iraq.

Afrikander Een Plesierige Kerfees
Arabic I'd Millad Said oua Sana Saida
Argentine Felices Pasquas Y felices ano Nuevo
Armenian Shenoraavor Nor Dari yev Pari Gaghand
Azeri Tezze Iliniz Yahsi Olsun
Basque Zorionak eta Urte Berri On!
Bohemian Vesele Vanoce
Brazilian Boas Festas e Feliz Ano Novo
Breton Nedeleg laouen na bloavezh mat
Bulgarian Tchestita Koleda; Tchestito Rojdestvo Hristovo
Chinese (Mandarin) Kung His Hsin Nien bing Chu Shen Tan
(Catonese) Gun Tso Sun Tan'Gung Haw Sun
Catalan Bon Nadal i un Bon any nou
Cornish Nadelik looan na looan blethen noweth
Cree Mitho Makosi Kesikansi
Croatian Sretan Bozic
Czech Prejeme Vam Vesele Vanoce a stastny Novy Rok
Danish Gl?delig Jul
Dutch Vrolijk Kerstfeest en een Gelukkig Nieuwjaar!
English Merry Christmas
Esperanto Gajan Kristnaskon
Estonian Ruumsaid juulup|hi
Farsi Cristmas-e-shoma mobarak bashad
Finnish Hyvaa joulua
French Joyeux Noel - Christmas in France & Canada
Frisian Noflike Krystdagen en in protte Lok en Seine yn it Nije
Jier!
German Froehliche Weihnachten
Greek Kala Christouyenna!
Hawaiian Mele Kalikimaka
Hebrew Mo'adim Lesimkha. Chena tova
Hindi Shub Naya Baras
Hungarian Kellemes Karacsonyi unnepeket
Icelandic Gledileg Jol
Indonesian Selamat Hari Natal
Iraqi Idah Saidan Wa Sanah Jadidah
Irish Nollaig Shona Dhuit
Italian (Auguri di) Buon Natale e Felice Anno Nuovo
Japanese Shinnen omedeto. Kurisumasu Omedeto
Korean Sung Tan Chuk Ha
Latvian Priecigus Ziemas Svetkus un Laimigu Jauno Gadu
Lettish Priecigus Ziemassvetkus
Lithuanian Linksmu Kaledu
Manx Nollick ghennal as blein vie noa
Maori Meri Kirihimete
Marathi Shub Naya Varsh
Navajo Merry Keshmish
Norwegian God Jul
PennsylvaniaGerman En frehlicher Grischtdaag un en hallich Nei
Yaahr!
Polish Wesolych Swiat Bozego Narodzenia
Portuguese Boas Festas
Rapa-Nui Mata-Ki-Te-Rangi. Te-Pito-O-Te-Henua
Rumanian Sarbatori vesele
Russian Pozdrevlyayu s prazdnikom Rozhdestva is Novim Godom
Serbian Hristos se rodi
Slovakian Sretan Bozic or Vesele vianoce
Sami Buorrit Juovllat
Samoan La Maunia Le Kilisimasi Ma Le Tausaga Fou
Scots Gaelic Nollaig chridheil huibh
Serb-Croatian Sretam Bozic. Vesela Nova Godina
Singhalese Subha nath thalak Vewa. Subha Aluth Awrudhak Vewa
Slovak Vesele Vianoce. A stastlivy Novy Rok
Slovene Vesel Bozic. Srecno Novo Leto.
Spanish Feliz Navidad
Swedish God Jul and (Och) Ett Gott Nytt Oer
Tagalog Maligayang Pasko at Manigong Bagong Taon
Tamil Nathar Puthu Varuda Valthukkal
Thai Sawadee Pee Mai
Turkish Noeliniz Ve Yeni Yiliniz Kutlu Olsun
Ukrainian Srozhdestvom Kristovym
Urdu Naya Saal Mubarak Ho
Vietnamese Chuc Mung Giang Sinh
Welsh Nadolig Llawen
Yugoslavian Cestitamo Bozic

We take you now to the Oval Office.........
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

........Allowing the President to invade a neighboring nation whenever he shall deem it necessary to repel an invasion...and you allow him to make war at his pleasure. If today he should choose to say he thinks it necessary to invade Canada to prevent the British from invading us, how could you stop him ? You may say to him, "I see no probability of the British invading us," but he would say to you, "Be silent: I see it if you don't." -- Abraham Lincoln

NORTH POLE - In a press release this morning Santa Claus announced that, due to excessive government regulation, his annual December 24th voyages would be canceled until further notice.

Mr. Claus’s legal difficulties began on Christmas Eve of last year, when Santa’s sleigh was forced down by Air National Guard fighter jets after
violating military airspace. A subsequent Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) investigation resulted in Claus’s being forbidden from operating any
air transport within the United States of America. FAA documents show that infractions allegedly committed by Claus include repeated and flagrant
violation of airspeed, altitude, and routing rules, failure to file flight plans, habitual overloading of his sleigh, and delivering air cargo without
a commercial pilot’s license.

Claus’s excuse that these violations were necessary measures to enable him to deliver toys to all the world’s good children in one night was not
considered to be a mitigating factor. A further result of the investigation was the impounding of Santa’s sleigh by the National Transportation Safety
Board (NTSB) as unsafe; an NTSB spokesman summarized the agency’s case in the statement that "the glowing nose of a hoofed mammal is not an acceptable running light."

The information revealed in the FAA inquest prompted several other federal agencies to begin their own inquiries into Claus’s activities. The result of
these investigations was multiple indictments against Claus. The United States Customs Service, noting that Mr. Claus had not paid duties on the
toys he imported, requested that Claus be assessed millions of dollars in tariffs and fines. The Immigration and Naturalization Service, after being
informed that Claus had entered the United States and was working without a visa and Green Card, has begun deportation proceedings. Claus also faces fines and possible criminal charges in connection with a Department of Agriculture report accusing him of bringing nine reindeer into the United
States without appropriate vaccinations and quarantine procedures.

Additionally, special prosecutor Kenneth Starr is reported to be requesting his authority be extended to include investigating Claus, noting that Santa
has made yearly trips to Indonesia, Taiwan, and Little Rock. Starr has requested an additional $40 million for this investigation.

The investigations into Claus’s activities have also resulted in legal action being brought against Santa’s Workshop, a non-profit organization for
which Claus is chief executive officer. The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission has filed a class-action suit against Santa’s Workshop alleging
that that organization engages in discriminatory hiring practices by employing only elves; Santa’s Workshop has reportedly rejected a settlement
proposal of approximately $10 million in back pay, penalties, and diversity training for Santa and Mrs. Claus.

The Environmental Protection Agency has declared that Santa’s Workshop’s North Pole manufacturing facility is "severely contaminated" and filed suit
for cleanup expenses under the Superfund act; evidence cited includes reports of pointed ears and diminished stature among Santa’s Workshop
employees, and mutations such as flying and power of speech among the local reindeer population.

Furthermore, the Workshop’s financial records are being audited by the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) in an effort to determine how, in the words
of an IRS spokesman, "a supposedly charitable organization can give gifts to millions of children annually while receiving no apparent income."

In a related story the so-called Santagate hearings continued today in Congress. The House Committee on Un-Christmaslike Affairs heard testimony
from the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) stating that Santa’s distribution of presents is unconstitutional. "By discriminating between
naughty and nice children Santa Claus denies them equal protection under the law," an ACLU attorney stated. "By not informing children of their naughty or nice status and providing a means of appeal children are denied their right to due process. These actions are clearly in violation of the
Fourteenth Amendment."

In light of these hearings many of Claus’s former political allies have been quietly withdrawing their support of the beleaguered saint; former President
Jimmy Carter declaring that "I am not Santa Claus."
There are some reports that Santa Claus will not discontinue his benevolent activities entirely. A reliable source in Santa’s Workshop has stated that,
in the spirit of Christmas, Santa will be paying an unofficial trip to Washington, DC, this Christmas Eve. The same source speculated that this
trip may pertain to the distribution of a shipment of coal that Claus recently received.

National Day of Action November 21, 2002

http://www.walmartdayofaction.com/

Underneath Wal-Mart's "Good Neighbor" image is a company that....

Pages wages to low for most workers to afford basic living expenses, such as rent, mortgages, or health insurance.

Discriminates against workers who are women, people of color, and lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender.

Bullies employees by forcing them to work extra hours without overtime pay, firing them without just cause, refusing to pay medical bills for work-related injuries, denying them the right to organize, and creating and atmosphere of intimidation.

Violates human rights and anti-discrimination laws.

Regularly does business with foreign countries and suppliers that commit human rights abuses.

Destroys the fabric of communities by displacing family-owned businesses, dispersing their customers and eliminating jobs (for every two jobs created, the community loses three).

Shows contempt for the law by hiding or filing to produce records, doctoring records, and presenting false records.

Worsens sprawl, which destroys the beauty of the environment and aggravates pollution.

Barges into communities that do not want them my manipulating municipal officals and legal systems.

Join the People's Campaign - Justice @ Wal Mart to make Wal-Mart respect the values, respond to the needs and hear the voices of the people - the workers, consumers, suppliers, and communities - who have made Wal_Mart the largest retailer and the largest corporation in America.

Together our coalition will transform Wal-Mart into a responsible corporate citizen that provides good jobs, equal opportunity, fair business and trade practices, neighborhood-friendly operations and respect for the rights of workers, consumers, and communities.

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when people make love they produce amounts of the hormones which make hair shiny and skin smooth.

2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, makes your skin glow.

3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.

4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!

5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases the chemical endorphin into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.

6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive people crazy!

7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.

8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque buildup.

9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.

10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

OK.. ive seen all those inkblot tests in the movies and on tv.. but i've never taken one until now.. here's the online link u can take it urself to see what it says....

there are 11 wild color inblots.. about 50 questions so be warned it's a little long. here is what it said about me...

justin, your unconscious mind is driven most by Curiosity

This means you are full of questions about life, people, and the potential of your future. You spend more time than others envisioning the possibilities of your life — things that others are too afraid to consider.

Your curiosity burns with an almost physical need to know and do more. It's only through new experiences that you feel a greater understanding of yourself or the world — which ultimately is the greatest way for you to feel satisfied.

It is possible that the underlying reason for your drive towards curiosity is a deeply rooted fear of boredom. That means that you are probably more susceptible than others to feel like you're falling into a rut when life slows down into a comfortable routine.

You need to make sure you have stimulation in your life — that makes you feel like you're innovating or being exposed to the ideas and experiences that truly inspire you.

With such a strong orientation towards curiosity, you're also prone to a rebellious quality that shows up when you feel you are just going through the motions, and are unable to really influence the world around you. But interestingly enough, your drive towards novel experiences also indicates an openness others don't have, but wish they did.

Unconsciously, your curiosity presses you to learn more, experience more, and get the most out of life.

Though your unconscious mind is driven most strongly by Curiosity, there is much more to who you are at your core.

Last Friday, the Oprah show covered a story of a Nigerian woman, Amina Lawal, who has been sentenced to death by stoning because she had a baby out of wedlock. She has tried to appeal the decision but has been unsuccessful thus far. The head of Nigeria disagrees with these stonings but has yet to do anything--partly because of the fear of not being re-elected. I should also note that the father of the baby denied fathering the child and, hence, has escaped any form of punishment.
Amina Lawal's stoning will occur as soon as she is finished nursing her child. She will be buried up to her neck in dirt and townsmen will throw stones at her head until they kill her--which has been known to take hours.


I send out a plea to all the women receiving this e-mail and to all the men raised by women to join me and many others to help prevent this horrific and inhumane event from occurring. All you have to do is visit the Oprah website: www.oprah.com and click on the Amina Lawal pop up screen or search using Amina's name and you will see a pre-written letter addressed to the Nigerian Ambassador.


Just fill out your information on the bottom of the page and send it. It's as simple as that. You can even go one step further and forward this e-mail to your friends so they can be part of the mission to save Amina Lawal. It's your chance to save one woman's life. We can claim ignorance when doing nothing to stop vicious atrocities that we know nothing about from occurring but there is no justification if we standby and allow these events to take place when we are fully aware of them.


Thank you very much for reading this...now the ball is in your court.